Real-Life Decision Making
Decisions are not easy for marriage and family counselors, especially when it comes to marriage counseling, says David Kaplan, director of the graduate counseling program at Alfred University in New York.
Kaplan says one of the most difficult choices he has to make is whether to answer a couple's question, "Should we get a divorce?"
John and Mary Doe come to you for marriage counseling. They have been married for 10 years and have no children. For the past five years, John and Mary have grown apart, and now they pursue different interests and activities. They rarely spend time together and communication between them is forced, at best. When they do communicate, the conversation quickly turns into a heated disagreement.
John and Mary believe their differences cannot be reconciled, and believe their marriage cannot be revived. The couple asks you if their marriage has any hope of being saved -- and shouldn't they divorce if there is no hope of reviving their once-close relationship?
Marriage and family counselors, like other professionals, must abide by a code of ethics set forth by their governing organization. Kaplan says the code of ethics upholds the right of the family to make such important decisions, as opposed to having the counselor make those decisions for them.
However, John and Mary have been coming to you for a long time, and you honestly believe they have a chance to work things out. You know you can convince them to give their marriage another shot if you explain that you think they should stay together.
What do you do?